This morning, and probably on-going for a while, we’re going to cover the more important story. We’re covering the one with the better press because we wouldn’t want to kick a guy when he’s down.
So, we’re covering Bieber!
At The Curmudgeon we pride ourselves in only looking at serious subjects and we’ve decided that Barack Obama is no longer serious. Well heck, he hasn’t been serious for decade, but everybody’s been pretending he was and we played along. So anyway, it’s Friday so we’re catching up on the earth shattering news about Boober.
Here’s the initial summary from yesterday…
Let’s see if we can get the gist of what’s going on here.
As we have come to understand all this, this Bleeper person is a 19 year old punk who is some kind of a “star” with the 10 year old girl set. He pretty much runs around with his shirt off showing off that silly tat thingy on what passes for his shoulder. We are given to understand that 10 year old girls swoon at the sight of him.
At this point in his life, although we’re not sure it’s fair to call anything any 19 year old guy who’s not in the US military is doing a “life”, we’re guessing that a bunch of guys in the Dade County lockup were probably swooning over that tat too. Or “tat as well”. Whatever, you get the idea. We wonder if Blabber did?
According to the “news” reports – this is kinda fun, we may start submitting stuff to E! – the kid was driving a rented Lamborghini. Side question, who in their right mind rents a 19 year old guy with a no-limit AmEx card a freaking Lamborghini? Well, to answer our own question, it IS a no-limit card…
Not only was he driving it, he didn’t have a valid driver’s license – we guess if you’ve got a no-limit card… He had been drinking and smoking lots of weed and taking prescription meds.
He was apparently driving it very fast. Well heck we’d have been driving it really fast, that’s the whole point of having a Lamborghini, don’t the Florida cops understand that? Come on!
He gets pulled over and proceeds to act like the cop should know him and cut him a break. It’s not reported whether he asked the cop if he had a 10 year old daughter, but it was reported that Bumper dropped the “F bomb” on the cop at least three times. We understand, from second hand stories of course, that dropping the “F bomb” on a cop who’s pulled you over for driving like a maniac is not a good idea.
At least Bugger didn’t get taised. Honestly we kinda wish he had gotten taised, that would have been great video!
It seems as though, based on the Twitter feeds the announcer was reading off, that people are piling on to Blubber. We’re betting a whole bunch of guys in the Dade County lockup would like to pile on him too; they just don’t have access to Twitter from jail, jailers being media Nethanderthals and all.
The real question here, with punky being 19 and all, is where have his parents been? We saw a tweet yesterday (sorry, didn’t capture it) to the effect that his parents have been pretty lenient with him because they were afraid of losing their allowance if they ever told him “no”.
That, we can believe. We are definitely Bieliebers. Or something. (Content warning, follow that link, you’ll want eye bleach.)
We’ll wrap this up just a couple of notes.
We don’t think this is the last time we’re going to be hearing (endlessly) about Blobber in chrome bracelets. We’re sort of looking forward to covering his marriage to Lindsay Lohan – they’ll get married in jail and exchange bracelets instead of rings. We’ll bet attending their 2-Step meetings will be a real hoot.
Finally, as idiotic as this saga may be, this little twit is doing less damage to us – not counting the 10 year old girls – than the alternate subject for a post today. Personally, we’d prefer Dweeber be POTUS than our alternative President.
Maybe Barack should invite him to the White House. They could smoke some choom on the porch, get giggly, and chow down on munchies – assuming Michelle is out for the afternoon.
Sign up to get alerts from Joe!
Trending on Joe for America
Sorry. No data so far.