Voices from the Grave: Joseph Stalin Advises Obama on Gun Control

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Once upon a time . . . (like today) the following letter from Joseph Stalin surfaced in the “dead letter” department of the U.S. Post Office.

Dear Comrade Barackski,

I am wishing to congratulate you for creative method of gun collection from citizens under guise provided by anti-gun UN Arms Trade Treaty. You are one smarty-pants guy when you pretend to be benevolent citizen of the world and implement just a little bit of treaty in “good faith.” Doesn’t matter if Senate Dunderheads approve treaty or not. You can do, little bit by little bit (through  executive order) to scare people who are owning guns.

Easie-peasie to find gun owners, thanks to your NSA. First they make list of people who break laws just a little bit. Like maybe they get tickets for j-walking, or speeding, or parking car in red zone. And, now that your IRS can look at all medical records of everyone, you can find out what peoples take anti-depression medication or pain killers or sleeping pills. Then you cross check with names of gun permit peoples.  Just like that, you have very long list of potentially dangerous citizens in cross hairs.obama skeet shooting

(HAHAHA! Uncle Joseph making little gun joke about “cross hairs” that you may not understand since you only hold up skeet shooting gun for photograph opportunity, and probably never even pull trigger.)

Then, because anti-gun UN treaty has language about preventing citizens from harming other citizens, you can search homes of gun owners on your list. Maybe even arrest them if they resist or make sassy remarks. Your media lapdogs will write glowing articles about how America’s President is keeping them safe from gun-owning citizens who break laws and take drugs that make them crazy.

Is very different approach than Bolsheviks use after evolutionary war. We have big problem because many peoples from White Army are sore losers and snipe, snipe here, snipe, snipe there, snipe, snipe, snipe, snipe everywhere. Red Army soldiers keep dying because armed civilians are shooting them.

Politboro threaten to send captured guerrilla fighters and their babuskas to Siberia to build ski resorts. And put children in re-education camps. This worked, little bit, but not enough. Citizen opposition still killing soldiers.

Then, government come up with brilliant plan. Make big, juicy cross-our-heart promise not to hurt citizens if they be good guys and turn in guns. Offered bags of Ruples and parties with vodka and borsch and potato latkes. Many peoples accept invitation, come to party, check their guns at the door, then play game of Pin the Hat on the Czar.

When blindfolds are in place, ‘Kabim! Kaboom!” Problem solved. No more citizen opposition.

Good luck! I remain your great admirer,

Uncle Joseph Stalin

The end.

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A former publisher, Time-Life editor, keynote/motivational speaker, workshop leader, and six-times published author, Molli also is a book doctor at www.getpublishednow.biz.

About Author

Molli Nickell

DAILY RANTS from Molli are available at her blog, along with a FREE download of her quick-read book, “Uncle SCAM Wants Your Money and Your Country.” Use her humor to help initiate conversations with the less-aware people in your universe. Entertain, then enlighten them with the truth about our need to wake up, wise up, stand up, speak out, and push back to fundamentally un-transform Obama’s America. A former publisher and Time-Life editor, Molli helps writers become published authors at www.getpublishednow.biz

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