This is for all you liberal scumbags: “Joe The Plumber” is for hire.

Every day, I get comments on Twitter, Facebook and through emails asking me to fix their toilet, install a water heater or someone needing their drains cleaned. But I’ve removed the language which would make it obvious they’re being demeaning, thinking they “got me” or insulting me. Sorry, doesn’t work fools – and here’s why:

 ApprenticeshipMan_041112-1135First of all; I love plumbing. It’s a very honorable trade and is honest, hard work which takes a skill most people don’t have. Some people foolishly think it’s beneath them. They think people who plumb, build houses or work with their hands are beneath them as well.

Secondly, I would have no problem coming to anyone of your houses to make a repair, troubleshoot a leak or install your dishwasher. I enjoy working – it gives me and most of us that do this kind of work a sense of accomplishment most white collar workers don’t feel often. Sometimes we have to figure out what the problem is and sometimes through experience we already know what the problem is and we fix it. People’s problems go away and they’re happy. Nothing wrong with that.

Men in the trades are men of action. We don’t wait around and let someone else do the work – we see a problem and we want – in fact, we need to fix it. That’s how we are built. You on the other hand, are the ones we laugh at. I mean, seriously:

– You can’t fix a toilet?

– You don’t know how to shut the water off to your own home?

– You don’t know how to light your own water heater?

– You don’t know how to change a flat tire, change your oil?

– You don’t know how to remove, clean and install a p-trap?

73cMjWhat, did you grow up playing with dolls?

Before you assume it’s all I can do, don’t worry – I’ve done white collar world as a Network engineer. No, didn’t go to school for it, I learned it by reading books, learning from my peers and bosses – the hardscrabble way. The money was good, but building networks (voice and data) didn’t give me the sense of accomplishment that I wanted and quite frankly I like blue collar people a hell of a lot more… if I have to describe blue collared in one word… REAL.

I tell ya, if tradesmen were in charge and running this country things would get “fixed” as in repaired not “fixed” as in corrupt the way they are now. That’s a fact. But we’re too busy keeping the country running, although perhaps that will change soon enough. In any event, I live in Ohio, but I will gladly come to your home, where ever that may be and solve your plumbing problem. Think I’m kidding? I am not. Here’s my rates:

·        For those of you who share my values and would like me to come to your home make a repair and shoot the shit with you and your friends it’s a thousand a day plus travel.

·        For those of you who want to feel superior, you can work me like a dog but you will be paying me like a rock star. Five Thousand a day plus travel. *

*10% of what I make will be donated to our national debt.

Let’s get to work friends – and let the grade school comments fly in 3-2-1…


About Author

  • John C. Oldham

    I spent a year as a plumber’s helper and can do 99% of the new construction/installation work of plumbing. Not easy work, but the satisfaction of a job well done is, in the words of our Creator, “very good”.

  • 44Grim

    I bought what I thought was a decent house a year ago. Then I started tearing into the little things I was going to update before moving in. Well, when I started tearing in, I found termite damaged walls, water damaged floors, melted copper insulation and brittle wires, and a dead mouse in the water softener. Needless to say, I’m re-wiring the entire house, replacing the maze of copper pipes under the house with pex, replacing the subfloor in 2 rooms and redoing most of the drywall, including most likely replacing the ceilings which are textured and taped like crap. I’m learning on the go with most of it and it gets expensive fast.
    I’m making mistakes, because I’ve never done 90% of this stuff before, but I’m learning from them, also. I replaced the dryer outlet block last month with a flush mount wall outlet and fixed one of their electrical issues. I’m getting my dad involved, who I hadn’t talked to in years after my parents’ divorce, and that’s been equally rewarding to see him again.

  • penguin_boy

    Did you ever actually get your plumbing license? Ever pay back all that welfare money? Sorry, but I’d rather hire a local, competent, plumber who charges fair rates than an attention queen whose fifteen minutes of fame ended five years ago.

    I honestly feel pity for you. You are a sad little man So desperate for attention he’ll lie to get it.

  • anarchyst

    Those of us in blue collar occupations have MORE “on the ball” than many so-called “college graduates”.
    I have weathered my share of derision from those who look at those without a “sheepskin” as being lesser human beings, but I DON’T CARE.
    I can hold my own in conversation with anyone from a small child, high-school dropout, college student to PhD. I chuckle when intellectual snobs attempt to discredit me by stating “you don’t have a college degree”!

    I am self-taught in an engineering discipline, am highly valued by my employer, and also have a good grasp of the arts and humanities (also self-taught).
    Many of my associates and acquaintances are surprised when the find out that I do not possess a “college degree”. Most of them are receptive and DO understand that TRUE education can be obtained from many sources outside the confines of the “ivory towers” (with Khan Academy and many other sources, it is much easier to obtain a REAL education today than in times past).
    There are still those “intellectual snobs” out there who gauge a person’s “worth” by that “sheepskin”; they are shortsighted, to say the least. It is their loss.

  • dangerouspatriot

    First of all Joe, God Bless You for all that you do. I’m the guy who won that AR-15 from you and I still can’t believe I got so lucky. I’ve added sights to it plus a Red Dot Scope and my eye is still as good as it was when I fired expert in the Army with an M14, fantastic rifle. I agree with your article about blue collar workers. I’m a blue collar worker myself, have been all my life except for 23 years working as an EMT -Paramedic working out of a hospital or stations. It was a little bit like white collar work but when I went on calls, I dove right into what was happening, be it a car accident, code, strokes, puking, bleeding patients etc., I just went right in there and got my hands dirty and I loved every minute of it. I also can fix a leaking toilet or anything else that needs fixing around the apt bldg. my wife and I live in. I work for our landlord doing odd jobs like vacumming the halls of both bldgs., cleaning up the yards, snow blowing in the winter and I don’t mind one bit. Of course he pays me a pretty good amount and hour for it but it isn’t many hours a month. Point is, I love doing the work and getting my hands dirty, it gives me a feeling of accomplishment that I’ve actually done something good for people unlike our politicians who sit around on their fat asses and soak up our money for doing nothing at all like passing a stupid health care law that nobody even read before passing it like that stupid pelosi urged people to do. We need to take back our country and soon and take it back by any means necessary and I for one am ready to do whatever it takes to take it back. I’m an oathtaker and live by that oath to defend my country from ALL enemies foreign and DOMESTIC!! Keep up the great work Joe and know here are millions of us out here that have your back. L&L

  • Maphesdus

    “I enjoy working – it gives me and most of us that do this kind of work a
    sense of accomplishment most white collar workers don’t feel often.
    Sometimes we have to figure out what the problem is and sometimes
    through experience we already know what the problem is and we fix it.
    People’s problems go away and they’re happy. Nothing wrong with that.”

    Wait, did you seriously just suggest that white collar workers never have to solve problems or don’t ever feel job satisfaction? Really?

  • Maphesdus

    It’s not about right and left. It’s about right and wrong.
    This is for all you liberal scumbags: “Joe The Plumber” is for hire.

    So it is about left and right after all…

  • angryplbr

    Plumbing has fed, housed, and clothed me for 30 yrs. The work is hard and mostly satisfying kinda looking forward to retiring. Well I was until that chump stole the WH.

  • Malcom Treadway

    Hands can’t do a thing without a brain directing them. Great post, Joe!

  • Razorgirl53

    You’re wrong Joe. All it takes is a law degree and that makes you an expert in everything. Just ask the current occupier of the White House. “The problem with Democrats is they know so much that isn’t so.” RR.
    I would love to have a president that has earned his sweat doing something other than shooting hoops or playing golf. One that has mowed his own grass or plunged a clogged toilet; shopped for groceries on a budget and brought them home and put them away; put gas in his car; changed a tire without calling roadside assistance; changed a dirty diaper; painted flea market furniture for his home; made Rice Krispy treats with his kids; chopped wood; hauled the ashes out after that wood is burned; changed the sheets on his bed; killed a snake; set a mousetrap; emptied said mousetrap; changed a light bulb; raked leaves; shoveled snow; hand washed his car; vacuumed; lived a real American life.

  • loran

    I was a building maintenance engineer for 36 years. I worked hotels and hospitals. I always got compliments to my outward happiness around not only my fellow employees, but also from guests and patients. Now I’m retired and my wife, bless her heart, won’t allow me to do anymore work around the house. But I tell you, its very nice to watch someone else do the work AND let them know that I’m watching and know what I’m talking about and seeing what they are doing is correct. I love it.

  • MoparToYa

    Plumbing is something I wish I knew the inside mechanics of, as well as many other construction and remolding things. I greatly respect it.
    BUT. This is NOT about plumbing.
    It’s about the strength and principles that made this Country GREAT.
    It’s very telling about the ignorant that cannot grasp that.

  • grumpy1938

    Joe, I am 75 but still do plumbing work because i enjoy it, so if you need help let me know. I can still replace a toilet by myself!

  • aliswell

    Awesome article, I love it! I had an uncle who was a plumber all his adult life. I have blue and white collar workers throughout my family, and I’ve worked as a factory line worker to being a writer. The key is that everyone works. Free rides are the source of shame ~ not being a blue collar worker.

  • Susan Garlock

    My dad was a Forensic Psychiatrist but he always told me growing up that”To know how the world works you have to know how things work and to know that, learn how to take it apart and fix it. He was a fine cabinet maker, plumber and mechanic. He was a fine judge of character because of the trades!

  • jsgurl

    My father was an advocate for trade schools being an equally valuable path to a career as going to college or a university. One of his jobs during his long career in education, he set up career classes for local high schools. My fiance’s BIL gave up a career in finance to set up a painting business. He is now quite wealthy and could retire early if he wanted. Many of the trades people we hire for our rental properties, have a degree in an unrelated field or finished a few years in college before they discovered they preferred to work a blue collar jobs. Plus, in the long run a lot of blue collar jobs pay better than degree jobs.

  • Nancy Pryor

    Work provides a person with a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, and a feeling of contributing to society which cannot be obtained by welfare.

  • heidiannej

    I cannot clean or repair or rebuild a p-trap, but I can do the basics. what I really need is an electrician – but he has to have your values & intelligence & honesty. I’d still love to shoot the shut with you, though. I am also for hire even though I’m not blue collar, I have something of worth & value for all business owners. perhaps we should work out a trade.

  • astrojohn

    But Joe, you didn’t build that – you MUST have had help from some liberal along the way, right? Oh wait, probably not…

  • wh17y

    I have a litmus test for the blue vs white issues that come up. I simply ask people, “Do you know how to rebuild a carburetor?”.

    Blue collar people say either yes and go off to tell me about the old car or truck they own or owned, or they say “no, but I think could figure it out.”

    White collar people say “Why would I need to know that?”. That’s usually when I laugh and walk away. If you aren’t self reliant enough to be able to do simple automotive work, you are not worth my time.

    • Ashram13

      I’m not sure asking someone if he/she can rebuild a carburetor is a fair question if we’re talking about cars.

      Most people will be driving something modern, which most likely uses fuel injectors instead of carburetors.

      But, you could ask them if they know how to change spark plugs as well as change ignition spark packs and their associated components in their modern car.

      Maybe even ask them if they know where the OBD-II port is on their car.

      However, you may not need to ask anybody who owns a modern BMW; most of the time the people who own them know nothing about maintaining them on their own. They almost always take such cars to the dealer or a garage.

      BMW seems to realize this since their new cars do not have oil level dipsticks, relying entirely on the computer’s engine oil monitor which won’t tell you what level your oil is at except if it gets too low or what condition the oil is in without draining a sample of it from the sump.

      However, if people own power tools that run on two or four stroke engines, then those still use carburetors.

  • JoeTexan

    Way to go, Joe! I am a programmer by trade, but I come from a long line of mechanics, pipefitters, sheet metal workers, and farmers. I know how to do almost anything that needs doing, from rebuilding a small block V-8 to installing a new electrical circuit. My motto is “never get in the way of the people who do the REAL work.”

  • Pase’ Doble

    Fraymah/Hangah/Taypah (I’m from Maine and yep we talk like that) sayin Amen to Tradesmen.

  • 4everBfree

    All three of my children have college degrees, but I would have had no issue if they had pursued a trade. I think if you enjoy working with your hands you would be much smarter to go into the trades than to college. If the you know what hits the fan in this country, as it may well happen, the man that can do things with his hands is going to survive allot better than the accountant that is only book smart. My hat is off to you Joe!

  • Carol Avant

    Well said, Joe! As for the ladies, how many of these “gimme my free phonies” can cook from scratch without a microwave, grow food, can, or even clean a bathroom without poisoning themselves with the cleaners? Seriously.

  • Brenda Lyn Williamson

    I like this site 😀

  • ADRoberts

    When it all comes down, what do you suppose the soft handed, condescending, arrogant are going to do. The money in their pocket will be worthless, just like the money in my pocket. And there will be NO reason for anyone to work for them, fix their plumbing, flat tire, cook their food. or give them the time of day.
    Yes, a time is coming when everything will be turned upside down. And those who have NO SKILLS, no abilities, no real assets except that they have RICH people in their network, may find out that those rich are just as worthless as they are.

  • Jay Hoffman

    I was a Machinist and loved working with my hands a seeing the end results.

  • Kerry Puckett

    I’m the lead man where I work but I will still take out the trash. I got where I’m at because of hard work. I’m a Audio Video install . I use to wire houses for low voltage stuff. Its funny that I never thought any of the guys working on the houses where stupid. Now I work in Schools installing Audio Video Stuff. Some of the Dumbest people I have meet are teachers. But also the smarts people I have met are custodians. When I need anything I look for a Custodian first. They will know how to solve the problem. My point is I know people look down on people because of there job that they may have, but they have a job!!!

    Another note. When I do sales calls I wear blue jeans and a kinda nice shirt. If a guys showed up at my house or place of business to do hard work and he is wearing a tie I will send me on his way. lol

  • kleduz

    Excellent Joe! Curious… Have you read Atlas Shrugged?

  • mcbee555

    There’s a young man who’s a neighbor of mine who attended a trade H.S.. rather than aspiring to attend college. He was mocked for working at a fast-food restaurant while his peers with which he attended school were “too small for heavy work and too heavy for light work.” The lad who was working happened to speak to a few plumbers who worked for a large plumbing contractor in the area, and would have lunch at this fast food restaurant when in the neighborhood. The restaurant worker asked about possibilities for a job in plumbing and heating which he had studied in trade school. The plumbers were happy to recommend him to their employer and gave a business card to the 19 year old. He went to see the corporation owner, asked for a tryout, said he’d work for free for a trial, the owner took him on. He went out on plumbing jobs with a master plumber who reported that the kid had the “right stuff,” after which the co. owner started the 19 year old at $21 per hour, 40 hour week. Plumbers are at premium, obviously.
    The boy’s older brother has a Master’s degree from some branch of academia, and hasn’t been able to find a job for almost 3 years. Plumber’s, Air Cond. techs, electricians are never without work.
    Try to get one on the spur of the moment, you can locate a neurosurgeon quicker.
    The only difference is that tradesmen get their hands nicked up and dirty doing their work, but I know a 19 year old who just moved into his own apartment, drives a nice late-model car he owns, and still helps his Mom with part of his paycheck even though he no longer lives with her.
    I just thought that any young people who think a highly trained manual job is second-rate are kidding themselves. With some gumption and work, they can have good lives and not worry about unemployment like many people the same age.

  • Blazer14

    Don’ t despair Joe. Real Americans have got your back. I’ve been a military and civilian pilot, and owned and operated several businesses. I have a B. S. in Professional Aeronautics and Aviation Business Administration. I’m on my fourth career driving a Big Rig and loving it.

  • disqus_oajLzmvtVa

    Hey this isn’t just for men. I learned to drive a car but first had to know how to change the the tires. change the spark plugs even do a turne up when needed. Now my daughter does her trucks and her daughter and 3 more granddaughters likewise. They also know how to keep the lawn mowers running,plus turn hot water gas off and on also the electric supply to there homes. Plus they raise gardens and can. Not just the veggies & fruit but beef,chickens, pork etc. Hey its a woman’s world where I live not just for men.

    • jsgurl

      My Dad taught me similarly, but I didn’t pay enough attention to the tune up portion! I was so proud of my daughter for taking auto-repair classes in high school and a few other ‘trades’ type classes. He also taught me how to grow vegetables (we had to during the gas crisis in the 70s). We were hit hard and had to cut down trees using manual tools (axes and two-man saw) for wood heat during that time.

  • jd

    How much will it cost to fix the odor coming from the whitehouse?

    • Patriot47

      eight years of our lives that we’ll never get back

      • loran

        Maybe so, but I think the people will finally see that it’s not smart to elect progressive liberals. Ever again!

        • Ashram13

          Unfortunately, people should have learned that lesson after the presidency of Mr. Peanut.

          • loran

            I take heart at the way people are now realizing that MR. PEANUT is no longer the worst President in America’s history. Even libs are expressing their dissatisfaction with Obama. The times, they are a changin’.

          • Ashram13

            True, that Obama usurped the position as the worst president ever, and I suppose a lesson learned late is better than one never learned at all.

          • ken345

            Surely you jest. Do you really think people have learned from the Obama mistake? They will be chomping at the bit to make the same mistake over and over until the country as we know it is in a shambles.

          • Ashram13

            Well, that can be true, too.

            There will be people who will always hold those “ideals” near and dear, no matter the consequences on others.

    • Malcom Treadway

      The man is only human, jd.

    • Max Derpin

      Coming up early next week, folks – it’s Plumbers Plumb for the Constitution!!! Please help spread the word and help the Real American Patriots take this Country BACK to the Originally Intended Constitutional Plumbing – the OUTHOUSE – as our Framers themselves PRACTICED! Down with the Marxist Socialist BIG CITY sewer in the White House! Does Obama Care make you want to VOMIT or go number two??? Does BIG GOVIMINT overreaching sewer make you feel bad about the Constitution and the FUTURE of this Country? Then join us, and let’s Plumb the National Mall at noon, followed by a group “SIT IN” on the White House Lawn at 2 PM, as our special guest Sarah Palin shares some of her word of advice! These could be the LAST DAYS, because FEMA has bought 800,000 porta-potties and sent them to Al-Qaeda in Benghazi! Spread the word!

  • woofpacker75

    I’ll take a man who can work with his hands AND his brain over any fool who claims to be a “community organizer”. IMHO, he’s useless as tits on a boar. The best 11 years of my life were spent designing, planning, then BUILDING a 4 bedroom, 3 bath, 2-story house, two counties away from home. I did everything but the foundation, the picture windows, and taping the drywall. Then I built the boathouse over 6 months. I’ll retire there next year.

    Right now, we have FAR too many people in government who have NEVER worked in any job that demanded physical and mental skills, many of whom who have only worked in government or academia. It is impossible to understand HUGE segments of the American landscape without experience in military, trades, manufacturing, or services. Forcing ObamaCare on these folks will prove this point in 1001 different ways, before REPEAL is finally forced on lift-pinky Democrats by REAL AMERICANS.

    • ed

      Hey, whaddya know, Obama’s building himself one of these in the Appalachians, for who-knows-why. Oh wait, contractors are building it. And its bigger than the whitehouse. with 1 foot thick walls.

  • notalib

    Those that belittle the working man, the plumber, the carpenter, mechanic, any of the trades are very little people with very, very little minds. When attending college to earn money I worked in the woods and as a longshoreman. Those were two of the hardest, physical jobs I’ve ever had. I learned absolute respect for the workers and the skills needed to do the job and to survive. My respect is 0 for those the demean the trades in any way.

  • Nothing wrong with working hard.

  • Ross R Blankert

    I was taught by my Dad that I was never to belittle a man in dirty clothes because he had been working. Hard work is to be celebrated and respected , always. I have worked since I was 12. There are a large number of folks who are choosing not to work and draw a government check. Remember that you are taking other peoples money and are part of the problem with the nation. There is no honor in sitting on your butt. Nothing is FREE. If the government gives you something, they can take it away. What you earn yourself , you can be proud of. Be honorable and not a lazy sack of manure.

    • mcbee555

      Absolutely Ross! I’m not a manually handy guy except for the simplest of chores around the house. I had my career in the Insurance industry. I spent 12-16 hour days working, everyday. Competition was stiff and one had to be on his toes or fail. After 35 years I retired. Even so, I need a plumber, I need an electrician, I need a car mechanic, I need a heating/air cond. tech., I never had time to develop skills in those areas. Therefore, my hat’s off to those fellows I know I can call for service when necessary. There’s never a day when they’re not busy.
      A well trained, punctual tradesman, possessing a friendly personality, can go a long way in his trade any time.

  • gottjonathan .

    come on down Joe to Glasgow/ Bowling Green KY and help me build my plumbing company. guys like you are what I need. and maybe we can talk our mutual friend Randy B. to join us.

  • Forebearance

    Touche, Joe. That’s one problem with America today: too few people who can fix things and keep things running smoothly, as our infrastructure crumbles all around us.