This is for all you liberal scumbags: “Joe The Plumber” is for hire.
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Every day, I get comments on Twitter, Facebook and through emails asking me to fix their toilet, install a water heater or someone needing their drains cleaned. But I’ve removed the language which would make it obvious they’re being demeaning, thinking they “got me” or insulting me. Sorry, doesn’t work fools – and here’s why:
First of all; I love plumbing. It’s a very honorable trade and is honest, hard work which takes a skill most people don’t have. Some people foolishly think it’s beneath them. They think people who plumb, build houses or work with their hands are beneath them as well.
Secondly, I would have no problem coming to anyone of your houses to make a repair, troubleshoot a leak or install your dishwasher. I enjoy working – it gives me and most of us that do this kind of work a sense of accomplishment most white collar workers don’t feel often. Sometimes we have to figure out what the problem is and sometimes through experience we already know what the problem is and we fix it. People’s problems go away and they’re happy. Nothing wrong with that.
Men in the trades are men of action. We don’t wait around and let someone else do the work – we see a problem and we want – in fact, we need to fix it. That’s how we are built. You on the other hand, are the ones we laugh at. I mean, seriously:
- You can’t fix a toilet?
- You don’t know how to shut the water off to your own home?
- You don’t know how to light your own water heater?
- You don’t know how to change a flat tire, change your oil?
- You don’t know how to remove, clean and install a p-trap?
Before you assume it’s all I can do, don’t worry – I’ve done white collar world as a Network engineer. No, didn’t go to school for it, I learned it by reading books, learning from my peers and bosses – the hardscrabble way. The money was good, but building networks (voice and data) didn’t give me the sense of accomplishment that I wanted and quite frankly I like blue collar people a hell of a lot more… if I have to describe blue collared in one word… REAL.
I tell ya, if tradesmen were in charge and running this country things would get “fixed” as in repaired not “fixed” as in corrupt the way they are now. That’s a fact. But we’re too busy keeping the country running, although perhaps that will change soon enough. In any event, I live in Ohio, but I will gladly come to your home, where ever that may be and solve your plumbing problem. Think I’m kidding? I am not. Here’s my rates:
· For those of you who share my values and would like me to come to your home make a repair and shoot the shit with you and your friends it’s a thousand a day plus travel.
· For those of you who want to feel superior, you can work me like a dog but you will be paying me like a rock star. Five Thousand a day plus travel. *
*10% of what I make will be donated to our national debt.
Let’s get to work friends – and let the grade school comments fly in 3-2-1…