Glitch! Obama exchanges refusing to exchange Obama


On the same day the government shut down, the Obamacare exchanges opened up for business. This may seem confusing given that Obamacare is a government program, but very little about government makes sense.

As expected, the exchanges were marked by what the administration euphemistically described as “glitches.” Government officials promised that the shutdown would not prevent them from replacing the glitches with bigger glitches. If necessary, the glitches will be replaced with snafus, and if absolutely necessary, a complete and total debacle.

Yet the biggest problem is that too many people do not understand how the Obama exchanges work. Even some conservatives including myself seem puzzled.

The Obama exchanges don’t work. Many people including me asked this morning if we could exchange Obama for a good president. Our request was denied.

Offers to even throw in a seventh round draft pick and a bag of jellybeans were further denied. Obama was staying.

Apparently these are Obamacare exchanges and not Obama exchanges. Yet calls recorded for quality assurance provided a total lack of quality and a complete failure to provide assurance.

“Hello, Obamacare exchange operator? I would like to exchange Obamacare for a program that actually works.”

That request was denied by a non-essential government employee. Apparently the government shutdown has not fully taken effect, since non-essential employees should not be on the payroll to begin with, much less providing bureaucracy and red tape on a day when that should be eliminated.

The Obama campaign apparatus is fully funded and operational always, so they held the billionth press conference to make things “perfectly clear.”

If people like their doctor, they can still keep their doctor around. Doctors can perform yardwork or hang out and watch a ballgame at your home. The doctor can perform every function as any other human just as before with the narrow exception of rendering medical services of any kind.

Further attempts to get clarity about the Obamacare exchanges went unanswered when the telephone systems crashed. Glitches on the Obamacare website were touted as successes given that one million people looked at the site. 299 million people did not look at the site, preferring pornography, online gambling, online video games, and social networking sites. Despite much larger traffic, those sites run by private individuals functioned properly.

More than 12 hours after the exchanges opened, not one person was able to successfully trade Obama or Obamacare for a hill of beans to build a beanstalk. However, the Democrat solved that problem by being full of beans. Al Gore is keeping the magic beans in a lockbox at the North Pole protected by healthy polar bears and unmelted ice caps.

The first successful Obama exchange is scheduled for January 20th of 2017, although time will tell if the result will be a better president or Lady Hillary MacBeth.




About Author

  • rabrooks

    t’s not a glitch, it called FAILURE! This is a major failure at the MANAGEMENT LEVEL! How much money did they flush eh.. spend already? How much more do they plan to flush eh..invest? In this business, arrogance and ignorance can get very, very expensive. Haven’t even got to the lowest performance level yet. 42M accts by Mar.? If just one person from every town in the US tries, I’m sure we’ll blow that away. I think that’s were they are. Any basic course in Systems Analysis will clearly describe what should and should not be done. Besides, there are only about 342M more to go.

  • Joanne Read

    My son is already on disability. He has been trying to get some work done on his teeth for about two months. Something that he needs pre-approval for. Our dentist has been calling and calling, and been put on hold for literally hours at a time, with the excuse that Medicaide had a ‘new program’ on their computers, and no one had taught them to use it.. End result is that he still needs the work done, no one can authorize it, and no one knows how use the program. Yea, I can see Obamacare going over with NO hitch. Only in their wildest dreams!

  • Thanks for the laugh. And for the sad reminder that, like everything else Obama, the word “exchange” is incorrectly used. I started a list of people/things/places I’d like to exchange for Obama. At the top of the list is “Bibi” Netanyahu, current Prime Minister of Israel, or a $100 million dollar vacation in Africa along with a jumbo jetliner filled with several hundred close personal friends and Doglums, or

    Southern Ireland. Who or what is on your list?