Who should play Hillary in the movie? — Updated with nominees!

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UPDATE – see the bottom for some of the actors, actresses, animals, and others, nominated by you, dear reader. Keep ’em coming. So many good ones, so far, I just made a collage. Some of you are real comedians too – Margaret Hamilton? aka, Wicked Witch of the West. Very clever….

You’re going to help me out with this. And we’re gonna have fun.

I know. I’m very late to this party
On July 27, NBC announced that Diane Lane would play the part of Hillary Clinton in an upcoming mini-series with an unannounced release date. [which means we’ll be seeing this slobbering HillaryFest about June or so of 2016]It’s a naked, transparent political donation by NBC for Hillary’s [unannounced but who-are-we-kidding]2016 presidential campaign.

It’s millions of bucks in in-kind political donation by NBC. We know it, there’s no point in denying it, so let’s move on from those sad, pathetic losers and get to the fun part.

Diane Lane
diane_lane_3Diane Lane is an American actress, 48 years old. She’s very easy on the eyes, sexy and beautiful in a girl-next-door way. Her face is soft and open, not hard edged and honed down. She looks — and is — intelligent, well-spoken, whimsical, and pensive. Well, to the extent any leftist is intelligent.

I’m no particular Diane Lane fan. She’s OK. I tend to love nobody in Hollywood unless I know for certain they are conservative or at least not leftist. She’s a flaming leftist like most of Hollywood, but at least she has the intelligence to shut up about it.

But an actress she is, and a good one. In a couple of scenes in a couple of movies, the sexy wholesome girl-next-door transforms into a burning, burning, Chernobyl-meets-Krakatoa that just frankly……well, the first thought that pops into your head is not “HEY! She should play Hillary!”

I’ll just leave it at that.

Diane Lane as Hillary? Yeah,no
diane_lane_4I have no doubt Diane can pull it off. She’s very good, and to tell the truth, having an open face like she does means she can turn herself into whatever role she wants to play. That’s not what I am positing here.

I object on the level of moral decency. I object to having a genuinely beautiful actress who exudes laughter, kindness, and thoughtfulness playing the part of a honed-down, bitter shrew who has to be among the most mean, vindictive, hateful women in America. It hurts my heart.

It’s not hard to see why NBC chose Diane Lane. I mean, just look at her. Who wouldn’t vote for that girl-next-door hottie cast in the role of “the smartest woman in America” with supposedly all those accomplishments as senator, SecState, and oh yea, putting up with her randy president husband.

Just not seeing it
hillary_1Hillary’s not truly ugly, not in the sense that Helen Thomas was [and admit it, you were way ahead of me, and already thinking of Helen Thomas as the perfect person to play Hillary in the movie]

But she’s utterly bereft of femininity or sexuality, not even having drawn a lesbian fan club to the best of my knowledge. She’d be more easy to look at, though, if she weren’t so flat-out mean. She’s a man-eating harpy if ever there was one. Slick Willy is not the only one who would have stepped out on her.

hillary_2

hillary_3

Your turn, kids!
Fun time! Who should play Hillary? Could be alive or dead. Male or female. Real or fictional. Let’s see what you got.

Put your answer in the comments. If possible put an image as well. I would ask you, please keep the pictures modest and somewhat tasteful. If you’re not up to making your own entry, feel free to express your opinion with the up-arrows, or reply comments.

I will post some replies as updates, so check back over the next few days. It’s not a contest, and please don’t be hurt if I don’t pick your awesome idea. But I will say I’ll post what tickles my fancy, and my fancy is most definitely not tickled by vulgar, indecent things.

I already told you who first came to mind for me – Helen Thomas. So…..what do ya got?

Update 1:
hillary_collage
As best I can recall:
Gollum, Candy Crowley, Ed Asner, Nick Nolte, Helen Thomas, Chaz Bono, Oprah (sorry, too sexy IMHO), Ozzy Osbourne, Rosanne Barr, Kathy Bates, Hanoi Jane Fonda, Whoopi, Anne Ramsey (Throw Momma From the Train), Lon Chaney Jr (Wolfman), Mister Ed, Whoopi, Meryl Streep (also too sexy), Margaret Hamilton.

My favorites: must I? Ed Asner and the bespectacled Mister Ed. Close third – Kathy Bates with the handy kitchen appliance. Lamp-throwing? She’s all over it.

Keep ’em coming, please. Love ya!

PS – for those of you who are kind of going serious here, with real nominees that make good sense. Good on you, but if we’re gonna go that route, what about Joan Allen? I think she could totally nail the conniving, mean Hillary. More or less in her ‘Death Race’/’Bourne’ character.

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The weapons had evolved, but our orders remained the same: Hunt them down and kill them off, one by one. A most successful campaign. Perhaps too successful. For those like me, a Death Dealer, this signaled the end of an era. Like the weapons of the previous century, we, too, would become obsolete. Pity, because I lived for it.

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