DEAD, DIVORCED, MARRIED, PREGNANT OR IN JAIL

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Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar are both leaving “The View,” and the likely new member of the panel will be Brooke Shields…

… It Suddenly Sucks.

Dennis Rodman is back from his basketball diplomacy tour to North Korea, where he became fast friends with Communist leader Kim Jong Un. Rodman says the despot wants Obama to call him on the phone…

Also, he would like a phone.

Sixty-three year-old Wilfred Levine, angry about being kicked out of a New Britain Dunkin’ Donuts by security, returned a short time later with an ax, jumped the counter and demolished the store…

… Shouldn’t we be banning assault axes?

Japanese scientists have produced 26 generations of clones from a single mouse, the lead researcher said Friday, possibly paving the way for the mass replication of valuable livestock.

… If this means more Rosie O’Donnell’s – I’m against it…

Houston defensive end Antonio Smith says if Manti Te’o gets drafted by the Texans, he’ll be the butt of jokes for years because of the fake girlfriend. And if he is gay, it might even be worse…

… Still, Manti insists he’s not gay and even refuses to do man-to-man coverage…

John Boehner on Thursday applauded President Obama’s outreach to Republicans, which included dinner with a group of Republican Senators Wednesday night…

… Can we finally admit we elected someone based on the color of their skin? I’m speaking, of course, about John Boehner… Orange is in – have you checked out Snookie?

A bill lowering tuition rates for illegal immigrants received final approval from Colorado lawmakers and will now proceed to Gov. John Hickenlooper, who is expected to sign the bill…

… The good news is that now new illegals will flock to Colorado where those pot-head, gay pedophile loving liberals deserve them…

The recently passed Violence Against Women Act covers transgendered individuals, but for those of us without a scorecard on the options in the land of confusion, the law does not provide a good definition of just what transgendered is. Or who. The American Psychological Association describes transgender as “an umbrella term for persons whose gender identity, gender expression, or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth.

rodney on tap… Which I guess means someone assigned me to be a true-blue, red-blooded, girl-happy heterosexual male just as I was sliding down the birth canal. That’s how I roll, baby… 

All hate mail and questions from the opposite sex can be directed to kowenhoven@gmail.com

with the subject line: “Are you single?”

About Author

Rodney Lee Conover

Rodney Lee Conover is a writer, producer and Senior Editor at JoeForAmerica.com

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