DEAD, DIVORCED, MARRIED, PREGNANT OR IN JAIL

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unicornsManti Te’o answered questions at the Scouting Combine Saturday, and met with two teams — the Green Bay Packers and the Houston Texans. He claimed to have interviews scheduled with 18 more

… Including the Atlantis Unicorns…

 

Following his best-selling books Killing Kennedy and Killing Lincoln, Bill O’Reilly has signed to write; “Killing Jesus: A History”…

… Turns out Jesus’ death was due to ObamaCare…

 

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A South African magistrate has granted Olympic runner Oscar Pistorius bail, allowing him to go free while awaiting trial in the shooting death of his girlfriend…

… Only problem is where to put the ankle bracelet…

 

Ikea says it is withdrawing Swedish meatballs from stores in 21 European countries after finding horse DNA in the meat…

… I want real Swedes in my Swedish Meatballs, thank-you…

rev wright

After much pressure from gay advocacy groups, Tim Tebow has cancelled an upcoming appearance at the First Baptist Church in Dallas, where pastor Robert Jeffress is outspokenly anti-gay marriage…

… Remember kids, it’s okay to attend, send your children to, and get married in a bigoted, hateful, racist church – just don’t consider speaking at one…

 

Jermaine Jackson says he has officially changed his name to Jermaine Jacksun, spelled with an “S-U-N” at the end for “artistic reasons.”…

… And I’m sure the HR folks at Applebees are thrilled with the extra paperwork…

fluke

Sandra Fluke has joined with Planned Parenthood to urge Americans to speak out in support of no co-pay birth control. Fluke called the benefit “essential health care.”…

… If you ask me, that haircut is birth control enough. OH!

 

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Rodney Lee Conover

Rodney Lee Conover is a writer, producer and Senior Editor at JoeForAmerica.com

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